Mario Draghi, tomorrow at 12.15, will close the round of consultations by meeting the delegation of the 5 Star Movement led by Vito teddy bear Crimi (the copyright of the nickname of Roberta Lombardi, a rare example of ironic grillina, born in Orbetello and raised in Boville Ernica, in Ciociaria). Dragons and Crimi. Facing each other. Someone take a picture. Crimi, crazy, always him. Images in fading: the consultations of March 2013, Bersani, the grillini who imposed a confrontation in live streaming, Lombardi and our teddy bear on the other side of the table playing hard and pure (after: in government first with Salvini and then with the PD, the blue cars, the drool from power, the seats to be taken). Crimi also gained a few pounds. And, in the meantime, he has become the provisional head, the regent of the Movement: but he counts less than a bankruptcy trustee.
His career, in these unrepeatable years of 5-star government, after a promising start, stopped. They ignore him, they mortify him. Never invited by Beppe Grillo to the Forum hotel suite overlooking the Colosseum. Never a quote from Dibba in his Facebook direct. And then Paola Taverna, now all dressed up, with the Louis Vuitton and the right suit, but the ways of doing that are always the same: A Vitooo! What are you up to? Nun you if you understand when you speak…. He then comes forward with this air of a fake chubby, scowl, brooding revenge. One day they catch him on Radio Luiss who confesses: Journalists are on my dick. He is angry with us. He would not be the only one: there is for the problem that in the meantime he was made Undersecretary to the Prime Minister with responsibility for Publishing. Populist, naughty, threatening. He has a brutal idea: to close a legend, Radio Radicale. You’re a minor hierarch, Massimo Bordin freezes him, the champion who ran it. Controversy, amazement. Crimi senses the antiphon, bows his head: I apologize to all the good and serious journalists, who are so many.
He specializes in gaffe: he must also ask forgiveness from the then Head of State, Giorgio Napolitano. I didn’t mean to offend him when I said I found him pretty smart. Two days later, a photographer posted on the tribune of Palazzo Madama points the telephoto lens on one who is sleeping and snoring with his mouth wide open. The head dangles. Arms short, and folded. A hibernating teddy bear. It’s him: Crimi. They begin to imitate him: Crozza, Fiorello. The hashtag starts on twitter: #romanzocrimi. He reacts by falling in love: he gets engaged to a colleague of the Movement, the deputy Paola Carinelli, and together they have a son.
But a pious soul at 5 stars draft: you have no idea of her first marriage. A tacky. A tale comes up: Vito the frugal arriving in front of the church of Santa Maria della Stella, in Albano Laziale, on board a pearl gray RollsRoyce Excalibur. Reception in the most luxurious villa on the Appia Antica, an English lawn, and he – the one who came in a pinafore at the meet-ups – in a morning suit. He is 48 years old, born in Palermo, Brancaccio district: second son of two parents employed at the Upim, boy scout in the Carmelite parish of San Sergio I, the scientific high school, the faculty of Mathematics left to move to Brescia (I had won the competition in the local Court of Appeal). Then the straight that leads straight to Parliament.
Are you happy now, Vito? No. He thinks it could have been better. The source throws a bit of a tantrum, but then arranges a confidential interview. Early September two years ago (while the new yellow-red government was swarming and Luigi Di Maio was explaining the scene). Vito dear, then: you will be Deputy Minister of the Interior and…. Vice? No, sorry: and why not the minister ?. For a reason of balance. To see that being the deputy to the Viminale is a lot of stuff. But I want to be a minister !. No, Vito. Sorry, not possible (Di Maio, if necessary, can be very hard). Even Toninelli being a minister…. Vito, come on… don’t do that… don’t cry, Vito. Lombardi had taken it upon himself: imagine him sobbing in disappointment, just a teddy bear. But from his eyes there is immediately a flash of unexpected fury. He has just been told that Grillo and Di Maio, albeit planting some stakes, would have opened to the former president of the ECB. Vito shakes his head. Once again: denied (a few hours ago, his statement was in fact definitive: The 5 Stars will not vote their trust in Draghi). But now gone. Now choose the right tie, Vito. And remember to ask for a photo. With Draghi, it doesn’t happen again.